Tuesday, May 31, 2011

If It's Not One Thing...

Then it's gotta be three others... I managed to make it through my daughter's graduation and dinner afterwards but by then she was done to a fare-thee-well and I was worse.  So I wasn't able to go to my son's Spring choral recital.  Fortunately my dad recorded it!   She graduated on the 21st.  I'm still recovering.  I still have the bruise on my left wrist/arm from where I went down the Ramp From Hell in my wheelchair.  I couldn't get my chair to slow down even trying to stop the wheels with my racing gloves on and regardless of what the idjet woman in the orange vest said to my son about how he should have helped me (yes, the one who didn't even hop up to help) he wouldn't have been able to stop me unless he'd been pushing me from the start and even then he'd have had a hard time!!  Like I said, Ramp From Hell.  All architects... wait, make that all architects AND building inspectors yada yada, should be required to spend a week... no wait, make that TWO WEEKS using crutches, then two weeks on a cane and then two weeks in a chair... all of them with various body parts in devices that don't allow them to have various levels of 'disability'.  And I hate to tell these people something but Gee Golly Whillikers!

Okay... falling asleep now!!  More latter!!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

It's Been a Hard... Week!

I've been having fibro flares out the ying-yang.  In fact, it's probably more like two or three weeks.  Sitting at a 7-9 most days.  meh.  I've had two sick cats, being denied again by SSD and weather weather weather.  Next week doesn't look like it's going to be any better.  Four days of being "out and about".  Even using the wheelchair I'm going to be flat on my back.  And if I hear one more person say I could "work from home" I think I'll go ballistic.  I rarely have a week when there isn't one doctor visit or another.  The cpap machine at the titration study seemed to help while still being comfortable for me... at least I wasn't stopping breathing.  And evidently I've developed restless leg syndrome, because about the time that the klonipin would be wearing off my legs started twitching.  So, of course, the next morning my husband says, "I haven't seen your legs moving but you often move your hands when you're sleeping."  Maybe that explains why they hurt so much when I wake up.  My sleep is all funky right now which I hate.  This can stop anytime now.  No, really!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Mom has been dead all weekend! Sad poor mommy! And she even drove us to school on Monday even though she was feeling really bad! Isn't she sweet! Hey! Where'd the kitten go? She was here.......but now I bet she's with mom...cause mom is awesome.......now Knives just left....*pout*...of course considering someone is feeding them....My ankle hurts...it really needs to stop that...I mean seriously....almost constant for the past two days!
Peace Out!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Pdoc, Sleeping & Cats...

So today I went to see my pdoc.  Dr. Baron is cool.  He specializes in pain patients which kicks since in addition to my ever so lovely bipolar & PTSD I've got chronic myofasical pain (last pain-free day was Oct '87) & fibromyalgia lalala yada yada yada.  I got rid of the osteoarthritis in my knees when I got bionic knees in 2010 but now I've got the joy of arthritis in my other joints.  wheeeee!  The weather right now is rainy rainy righty wristy going crazy.  I'm totally right-sided, even though I'm slightly ambidextrous, and that's where I have tons of fun stuff going on.  I double dislocated my right ankle a few years ago and it hasn't been right (no pun intended) ever since.  I was in a cast for some time but the swelling hasn't ever gone down.  I'm constantly straining it.  And because I have to compensate for it... well, you get the picture.  Where was I?

Oh yeah.  Dr. Baron.  He asked how I was.  HA!  I just lost my first appeal for SSD.  SSD seems to think I'm perfectly capable of working.  Well, I went to Nashvegas to see Dr. Baron today.  I didn't have anyone who could take me.  This means I won't be able to leave my house for two days.  Right now my pain level is at an 8.  With the percocet.  I'm depressed, anxious, in pain, and living on the edge.  On Thursday night I get to have a titration study because the sleep study found that contrary to the last sleep study I had a couple of years ago, now I have sleep apnea.  Wheeeeee!  Hello, you stop breathing at least 7 times an hour while you sleep.  Oh?  Really?  Okay.  That sounds like fun.

So, what was I talking about?  Oh yeah.  Dr. Baron.  He's upping one of my meds & gave me something prn for anxiety.  This is good.  I spent the weekend nursing the 'baby' of the house Audrey.  She's 10 months old and had a fever of 105.8 which was 106 when the vet met us at his office on Saturday.  He said it was a good thing we'd taken her in because we'd probably have lost her if we'd waited until Monday.  I trust my gut.  So, even though my husband thinks "oh we can just do it ourselves and save the money" my gut says go with the lawyer for the second SSD appeal.  I'm not in any shape to do it.  But Audrey got better very quickly and by yesterday was back to playing with her hair bands and making me laugh.  Laughter is good.  It helps.

I had four cats hanging around with me this afternoon once I got home.  I haven't had fewer than two on the bed with me.  They know what kind of shape mom is in and they want to make me feel better.  Cats help me cope.  I'm just trying to figure out who's going to clean their litterboxes when the kids graduate college.  ::rueful grin::

Audrey & Star managed to talk Jennifer & Corwyn into fixing me dinner.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

With Friends Like These... (also put up on LJ's dot_gimp_snark)

So I'm up on Facebook and one of my 'friends' posts this little gem...

why doesn't the government truly audit the social security disability recipients? why do we allow parents to get disability for kids with ADD, why do we pay people 1000.00 a month because they claim to have high anxiety and obesity and claim they cant work? people with stress, fibromyalgia and depression with the aid of medications can get up and work, why don't we force them to work, atleast part time there are many jobs working from home, but we just keep shelling out the money to ones who could possibly do some on their own.

Excuse me? I happen to have fibromyalgia, chronic myofascial pain (last pain-free day was in October 1987), bipolar depression, PTSD, sleep disorders, chronic migraines and a slew of other problems. If I run errands or go to a doctor's appointment I can't move out of my bed the next day. In fact, I spend most of my time in bed because of fatigue and pain. I take anti-depressants and even with four percocet and three heavy muscle relaxants a day my pain levels are 6+ EVERY SINGLE DAY. I've TRIED to work. I've LOOKED for things I can do. There IS NOT ANYTHING I CAN DO. And I was just turned down for the second time for SSD. I pray to God you NEVER have to endure the pain I do every day.


Which was my response to them.  It wasn't until later that I found out this post was a response to frelling Huckabee.  cuss cuss cuss cuss cuss cuss and some more cussing.  These people should be SO thankful I don't know where they live because right NOW??  I am about ready to hunt some people down and put them in the amount of pain I'm in right now.  And what is that??  9