Sunday, December 18, 2011


3.1 Not good.  The question is, was it really just that med I was taking?  And how the flip do I tell if it's back to normal?  I mean, that chest pain is still there.  And where is all that flipping bruising coming from?  As much as I really really really don't want to be stuck in a hospital, I'd dearly love to be in one where they would just play with my blood & stuff until they figure out what the frip is wrong with me.  I am so sick & tired of being sick & tired.  It bites.  Big time.

On top of that I have hot & cold running mid-life crisis old man.  Three months after walking out the door he's living with her.  Now admittedly he's had a stroke.  I did say that I was glad he had somewhere he would be monitored 24/7 but I didn't mean fricking move in with her on a permanent basis.  And I don't care if he doesn't like it, he's not getting out of going to therapy.  It has nothing to do with getting back together.  It has to do with a) helping me b) him learning how to fricking communicate since THAT is why he fricking left in the first place c) helping me d) helping my children.

But I'm tried of hot & cold running man.  I guess that's really reason c.  He's conflicted & he feels guilty.  he should feel guilty.  He left a suicidally depressed woman abruptly with no good support base.  He never EVER did anything to try to FIX the situation at ANY time even though I asked.  I tried asking for help but he never got it.  He never heard it.  I know that I did things wrong.  I hold 50% of the blame.  But otoh I DID ask what was wrong.  I DID ask for him to go with me to therapy and was brutally rebuffed.


So, how long has my potassium been low?  I need to look at my medical papers.  Which is difficult since a certain young lady sucks at cleaning her room, rather like my mother & late brother & aunts at the same age.  David & I were both neatniks.  What other vitamin/mineral deficiencies could I have?  And if I do, and they've made a problem you know what the first thing I'll hear out of him??  "Well I TOLD you you weren't eating right."  I need a tissue.